Autostraddle Strap Week 2021-all images of Demetria.

In this series, two babes chat with both parties on a stressful topic-sharing with you a personal narrative of their point of view at this time in their strange story. Next-do you want them to watch you fasten your seat belt, or are you more like a "BRB-but keep it on!" Kind of baby?

"I use humor as a way to turn a potentially frustrating experience into a shared connection and sexual adventure."

Before you change channels, let me explain. Humor is a spectacular way to provide space for vulnerability and intimacy. When I think of some of the best sex acts I have ever done, it is more about the comfort of that partner than the type of underwear they wear. For me, it’s hard to think of something more susceptible to injury than the person who makes me want to do the thing watching me wear a flexible split silicone hole.

My mind went back to the first tension, youth and tension (no pun intended!) version of me preparing to put on my first strap. I can feel the heat on my cheeks, just like yesterday. I am very worried about the suggestion to bring extra equipment into our bedroom, and worry that it will be seen as a sign of insufficient sexual function, rather than the pleasure and interest of exploration that I want. I was also afraid that this experience would be boring or painful for my partner, but she relieved my fear and we entered a new experience together. We giggled like schoolchildren, opened the box, and for the first time came into contact with the soft synthetic skin and the seat belt buckle. She sat on the bed, watching my every move with her eyes wide open. She laughed when I fumbled for the buckle, and when I slid my leg in, my toe grabbed the strap and it pulled me off. I want to know if she is laughing at me because she is nervous. I thought I looked stupid, but she smiled beautifully, so I took advantage of it.

I quickly realized that by looking a little stupid, I had eliminated the stress and anxiety from this situation. I use humor as a way to turn a potentially frustrating experience into a shared connection and sexual adventure. When I finally managed to put it on, she reached out and grabbed the seat belt around my hips and pulled me closer. When I proudly displayed my dildo, the insecurity I felt was dispelled by the eagerness in her eyes. If I let my nervousness make me invisible, I won't see more and more anticipation or smiles on her face. When humor became my fragile guide, self-doubt disappeared. When the tension and confusion that I tied up for the first time were fully displayed in front of her, I had eliminated the destructive power of embarrassment. We all release our nervous energy in front of each other through laughter, instead of increasing it when we hide and tie up alone.

When we feel safe enough to be vulnerable, we provide an opportunity to perform in a way that is appreciated and enthusiastic. Fragility creates intimacy. Experiencing these moments of total exposure together, the connection between them is much deeper than the body and enriches the whole experience. Use my humor to let my lover perceive himself in a way other than the traditional sexy way, and make me feel yearned and accepted-for me, there is nothing more sexy than acceptance. Over the years, the waistband has become less clumsy for me, but I still invite my friends to look at me. Every button, tugging, and occasional mistake they see creates an unfettered and fun atmosphere, unfettered participation in the interconnected and first-class sexual experience we all truly desire.

"When I use it, I am not ashamed; I enjoy it more. It is the part of wearing it that makes me get rid of myself."

I was standing in a room with a belt in one hand and a smooth graphite black penis in the other. I don't like this part. Not because of my strange body being confused or irritable, because it doesn't. To be fair, strapping does not make people feel euphoric or sure. For me, the strap exists as a neutral-but very convenient-object. When I use it, I am not ashamed; I enjoy it more. It is the part that wears it that makes me get rid of myself.

I prefer traditional seat belts. Mine is custom made: the rust-brown leather is soft and soft, and the brass hardware makes me feel as if I am paying tribute to some of the older and more elegant times, when the dildo was known by the Italian nickname "diletto", (translation: people Happy) and bandage pants are praised for their erotic innovation behind the door. I like this strap.

The next day after wearing it, I will slowly clean the leather carefully. This task is also a gift of time to myself, where I can recall that my seat belt was not just a pile of leather and brass the night before, but an opportunity to redistribute touch, using part of my body often Other ways to engage and entertain. Remember this special intimacy makes me dignified. It feels so good. This part makes a lot of sense because it relieved me of the small part that swayed when my lover asked me to put on my penis the night before—at a very precise moment.

I am serious about sex. Seriously, I mean I firmly believe that happiness and desire are essential and important forces. I will not take it lightly, even if my sex life is light. But it is also important to understand that I am shocked by the absurd. It feels ridiculous to wear it.

I felt uncomfortable for a long time, so where I strapped to my penis was not important; I had been very focused on my constant discomfort. However, the reason why I feel that my body is not right is not because my body is not right, but because its name is wrong. When I finally understood this, the novelty of my body was a revelation for me. I mean novelty, we as queer and transgender people will recognize novelty; in how we dig and embroider a place that we already understand as home.

For LGBTQ people, stepping into our right life is an effective medicine. For the first time, I felt it was right, but I was also used to feeling uncomfortable all the time; I didn't expect that sometimes I still have to face it. The process of tying a rooster to me is one of them. I feel indecent and clumsy. When anxiety is a routine matter, it brings me back to a place outside of myself. This is the obstacle that I trip over every time, because I know this will happen, so I leave the room to be kind to my older self. A gesture said, I hope you will witness our growth here.

When I pulled the belt of the seat belt firmly between the lower buttocks, between the thighs and under the hips to adjust the fit to my changing body, I thought that doing so in front of my lover would ruin me and her; but I knew her Won't mind. I don't want her to watch me leave my body. My bold body, just moments ago, was still immersed in happiness, inspired by our common desire.

The moment I let my old and new parts merge and understand each other-that's for me. I left the room, simply immersed in the confusion of the body I know now, and realized that although it sometimes confused me, it was still mine, mine, and mine.

All of this happened in adjacent rooms. Then I walked into the doorway where my lover was waiting, the belt was wrapped around my hips and thighs, and my penis was ready. We looked at each other in a shockingly clear way. She motioned for me to return to her-as if I returned to myself.

I am a freelance writer and live in the beautiful city of Wilmington, Delaware. I focus on interviews, personal essays and reviews.

Danielle wrote 1 article for us.

Sarah (SC) is a queer writer from Toronto. Their work can be found in Hazlitt, Joyland and Descant.

Sarah wrote an article for us.

I like the way this series is set up again. Not only can I see two different perspectives, but I can also see two completely different tones and styles, which is incredible. These two are more moving than I imagined from the prompt.

"However, the reason why I feel that my body is wrong is not because my body is wrong, but because its name is wrong."

This is simply beautiful to say.

Thank you both for such a great article. Every narrative helped me find myself that I had never expressed in words before. New treasures.

This series is simply revolutionary.

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